Why Is It So Hard For Women To Accept A Compliment?
As I was reading my current "Motherhood" Book, I came across a chapter that
delves into the issue that we Mother's and Women alike have with accepting
a dang compliment!
Why is it so hard for women and mothers to accept compliments?
Why are we so quick to speak negatively about ourselves and highlight our shortcomings, masking it as "humility"?
Why are we ashamed of being proud of ourselves, or simply confident?
Why not change the tone of the conversation? Accept a compliment graciously. Speak to ourselves kindly. Offer ourselves pats on the back for doing the right thing.
One of the compliments that I receive the most from my husband is that I am a "perfect" mother to our child. Obviously this statement is not entirely true. He isn't around 24/7 and therefore, he misses a lot of my sudden and completely in-called-for outbursts. I am not a perfect mother. But I am very good at some things. Especially in dealing with my extremely strong willed toddler.
On my Instagram Post today, I shared something that I believe I am really good at as a Mother.
One of my main goals with my little girl is to raise her to believe that she is the master of herself and that no one can influence her without her consent.
I am accomplishing this by maintaining a respectful relationship with her. I treat her as if she has control. I give her choices. I let her make bad decisions in order to learn from her own mistakes.
Granted, I will never let her get seriously injured. But when she was bound and determined to climb that tall ladder at the park at only 18 months old, I stood behind her the whole time and coached her through it. She may have even chicken out part way through and started fussing when I would say "You can do it. Put your foot right here. I won't let you fall." Have I let her fall yet? No Ma'am! And she knows it. Therefore she trusts me.
With less dangerous and life threatening scenarios, I will allow her to fall and scrape her knee in order to learn that walking at the edge of the sidewalk may not be the wisest idea. Or attempting to balance on the arm rest of the couch.
Other times she is being stubborn and won't put her play dough away. In situations like these, I give her two options. A. She can put the play dough away right now. or B. She can go to time out, and then put the play dough away. On the extremely rare occasion, and when she is feeling particularly defiant, she will choose option B. But it was her choice, and she handles her choice much better than when I pick her up and physically force her to do what I want her to do.
Because of her ability to make her own decisions, and usually GOOD decisions starting at a young age, I believe that she will be a very successful young woman and adult. Most importantly, I trust that this method will accomplish my goal. The goal of bringing her up to be confident and independent.
Change the tone in your head.
Change the tone in your language.
Accept a compliment with gratitude.
Speak to yourselves more positively.
