6 Gentle Discipline Tips

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6 Tips for implementing gentle discipline:

1. Get at or below eye level

Literally. Kneel or squat down. Place your child on your knee. Or sit at the kitchen table, or couch. Place yourself in a non-threatening stance. It also helps if you make physical contact- hold hands, put your arm around them, etc. Oh, and make eye contact!

2. Don't threaten what you are not willing to enforce immediately.

If your kid is throwing wood chips at the other children at the playground. Don't just say, "Stop that or we are leaving" a thousand times. Say "If you throw woodchips in someone's face one more time, we are leaving." And then do it. Do what you say, ALWAYS. If you don't do what you say, then they learn FAST that mom doesn't always mean what she says. So your children will be disobedient. If you want obedient children, mean what you say, and DO what you say you are going to do.

3. Never use fear, intimidation, or physical punishments!

I talk about this more in depth on the podcast, so I encourage you to listen to it. But if you can imagine the person you love most. The person you trust the most. The person with whom you share the most intimate relationship with. And that person used fear, intimidation, and physically beat you to get their point across or to get you to "mind" them- that's abuse. In fact, adults can go to jail for that kind of behavior. Don't be that person to your child. Don't hurt them. Don't obliterate the bond that they desperately need (especially later in life when they are adolescents!). Respect your children. Respect the relationship. 

4. Focus on teaching a lesson

Discipline = teaching. So don't yell, scream, spit out threats, etc. Actually take the time to teach them something. It takes more time and effort, but it's actually better for everyone if you take the time to do it. 1. Your child understand why and listen to you more. 2. You don't have to keep yelling at them about the same dang stuff over and over and over again because you took the time to explain it to them. 3. You get to keep your sanity. 

5. Focus on implementing consequences instead of punishments

It is as simple as addressing the rules and consequences BEFORE your child has the chance to break them. For instance, "Now that you have your drivers license, we are going to lay out a few ground rules... if you are not home by midnight, you will lose your driving privileges." Instead of, "You are late! I'm taking the car away from you for a week!" 

6. Make your child responsible for their own actions

Take the above example. "If you are not home by midnight, then you are going to lose your driving privileges." instead of "If you are not home by midnight, then I'm taking away your car." Don't make yourself the bad guy.

Let me know how this goes for you! Share with me your experiences!