What To Do When Personalities Clash

So the other day Milani was really being quite demanding.

I took two seconds to look at my phone, heaven forbid, and the child was immediately on my case!

"Mommy! Mommy! Mommy! Mommy!"

After a minute of her attempting to get my attention, I slammed my phone down and looked at her with those crazy eyes. You know what I'm talking about.

And she returned my gaze with her own crazy eyes and we literally both groaned at each other at the exact same time.

Then we laughed.

Mine and my daughter's personalities clash.

The more that I study personalities, the more that I have come to realize that my daughter and I are polar opposites.

She has a very fast paced, rough, stubborn and determined nature.

She raises her voice.

She isn't afraid of confrontation, nor does she care to avoid it.

She is a fighter and she is feisty.

She fights for what she wants, and there will be blood!

She has a short fuse and is quick to anger.

Her voice is so freaking loud, I swear it rattles my bones.

I have more of a gentle and quiet nature.

I am light hearted and up-beat.

I like to laugh and smile and not take things too seriously.

I avoid confrontation and conflict at all costs- to a fault.

I may not be submissive, but I fight quietly and gently for what I want.

I have more patience than I ever knew I was capable of.

My fuse is about as long as they come.

I rarely have emotional outbursts.

Sometimes...ok who am I kidding...a lot of the times, we clash.

It's like the freaking clash of the titans over here.

The child can seriously bring out the monster in me at times.

Now don't get your panties in a wad...

It's not like we have to take our fights outside and battle it out in the street.

Lately I would give myself a B- in the momming department.

The sleep deprivation, and transition into handling two children has taken its toll on me.

The struggle is R-E-A-L!

So anyway...how am I handling it?

Or in other words...how am I not getting a complete F over here?

Well, first and foremost, I am expressing love ALWAYS.

I'll randomly tell Milani that I love her.

I will also hug and kiss her throughout the day. etc.

Expressing love frequently has been successful at improving the mood immediately.

We may not see eye to eye on everything, and we may get extremely frustrated with one another, but we LOVE each other.

And expressing that love toward each other is incredibly enriching for both of us, and our developing relationship.

Nextly. I have to find the middle ground.

If Milani is begging me to do something with her and I am just SO not in the mood, I will find a way to make it work for the both of us.

I do this to keep us both sane.

I'll do a little bit of what I want to do while meeting her needs.

And last of all, I do my best to see the humor in our situation.

Having my family observe our relationship and laugh at the sidelines has been helpful for me to realize that it is humorous and it is ok to laugh and smile sometimes.

You know what they say, laughter is the best medicine.

And if I smile first, Milani is quick to smile back.

And before we know it, we are both laughing at ourselves!

Since Milani and I have been struggling more lately than usual, I have been taking the time in the mornings to get in a quick yoga workout and meditation session.

Just to emotionally prepare myself for whatever the day may bring.

And when my stomach is in knots, my heart rate is picking up, I feel my blood pressure go up, and an anxiety attack is on the horizon, I hit the floor and I pray.

Raising a child who is opposite than you is not easy.

It's difficult when you clash.

If you are currently clashing with one of your kids, I feel you sister friend!

Take a deep breath.

It's OK!

It's ok for your child to be different than you.

It's ok because they have their own set of gifts and talents to bring to the table.

These gifts and characteristics that they were born with are a blessing both to your family, and to the universe.

Choose to see that.

Choose to see your little monster as more of a blessing than a burden.

And more than anything, choose to make it work.

And be happy doing it!