Why Your Child Is "Acting Out" and What To Do About It


My three year old and I have been struggling for about a month now.
I'm talking, screaming, stomping, hitting, biting, slamming doors kind of problems.
(all from her obviously)
Our relationship had grown resentful and bitter, and I'm pretty sure that neither one of us has enjoyed each other's company very much.

Many of you may be reading this and thinking, "All kids do this when a new baby is introduced to the family". Right?
Not my child.
My child "acts out" on and off and I always come back to the same conclusion.
Yes. The reason for her PMS type behavior all comes down to the same exact thing.
Every.
Single.
Time.


Me.


Long before we had a second child, and Milani, being our only child for 3.5 years- we have struggled with periods of "acting out".
After reading a book about personality profiles, and how to raise children true to their individual natures, I have come to realize, once again, that I am the reason for my child's emotional struggles.
This is true for probably most scenarios, and most personalities.
When a child feels that their parent is essentially trying to change them, or restrict them from expressing themselves fully, then the emotional imbalances arise.

I have learned that my daughter has a very determined nature.
She has a very fast paced movement about her.
She is easily frustrated when things don't work out exactly how she wants them to.
She speaks loudly, and she WILL raise her voice louder than yours.
She is a natural born leader, and if raised true to her nature will accomplish great things as an adult.
Most adults with her personality type grow up to be professional athletes, and break world records.
I always say that my daughter will be the first Hispanic-Caucasian female president of the United States.
No doubt about it.

So I can either give in to the exterior voices that look at my child with disapproval, shake their heads, and think that I as a mother am not doing my part in getting her "under my thumb" or "in control".
Or I can look at my daughter as a PERSON who has GIFTS and TALENTS to offer the world, and raise her to be the BEST version of herself.
I mean sure, maybe she's not the best version of herself quite yet.
(I know. A whole three years of life and she STILL hasn't got it figured out? I mean, come on! Right?) ;D

I see her growth.
And I am fostering her best traits as much as I can.
But sometimes I get tired.
Sometimes I have stages where I just can't deal with her shortness.
I have a difficult time remaining patient while she screams.
I snap when she won't listen.
This is when she begins "acting out".

It all starts with me.
A bad stage begins with me.
And the transition back into unity, peace, and respect, begins with me.

I can look at my three year old, very inexperienced with life child and think "what a brat" or "this kid has got some serious issues. how 'bout some more power trips. ya. that sounds like a good idea."
Or I can look at myself and ask, "What am I doing that needs improvement?"
And when my daughter doesn't respond positively to me, I can reevaluate the situation and see how I can do better next time.

For those of you who look at me, my daughter, or any other child with a strong personality, with any disapproval, all I have to say is thank God, you didn't get one!
And for those of you who have a future CEO, MVP, or President of the US on your hands, and you are exhausted, and sick of having a "bad stage", I feel you friend. Boy do I get it!

Look within yourself.
Evaluate your own actions first.
Take note of THE WAY that you verbalize things, and how you communicate to your child.
If you have a child who is acting out on you, there MUST be room for improvement on YOUR part.
Positive Reinforcements throughout the day will go a LONG way!
So start there!

And like I always say, give it time!
Things don't change over night!

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