Feeling Guilty About Having a Second Kid


Last night Rene told me he was going to bring Milani into bed with us.
Seeing as he says this just about every night, I gave him my usual-grumbling in protest, response.
Then he said in a shaky voice "In two months everything is about to change"

Lately, I have been making him put her on the floor on his side of the bed so that I can get some better sleep.
But last night, I told him to go ahead and bring her in the bed in-between us.
Because he's right.
In two months, everything is going to change.

I have to be honest, some tears were shed last night as we snuggled our little princess between us.
I can't imagine life any different than it is right now.
It's been the three of us for three years now, and it has been absolutely fantastic.
I feel guilty that I have these feelings of "Are we about to mess everything up by having another kid?"

This pregnancy has been filled with ups and down.
Usually on this very topic.
I will have days where I see other women with their newborns and my heart fills to bursting and I just cannot wait to have another one!
And then I have moments like last night where I cry and wonder "Can it really get any better than this?"

I LOVE my little family of three!
I LOVE only having one kid and giving her EVERYTHING that I have to give!
I LOVE how close we all are and the intimate moments that we all share!
Can it be just as good with two???

I am having major mom guilt right about now....
Guilt about having another child, and feeling like I'm cheating on my daughter.
Guilt about questioning whether or not I could possibly love our new life as much as I love our current one.
Guilt. Guilt. Guilt.

To all of you mama's who have recently transitioned from one to two, I would love to hear from you!
Can anyone relate?
Am I insane?
Is life with two even better than one?
Help a mama out!

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